Oh no, I reply, and I am appalled at the carnal thought. I will get FAT, I say to the ice-cream. "But I will give you PLEASURE", says Ben.
And you, Jerry? What will you give me?, I ask the ice-cream, which has somehow transformed into two distinct yet sweet personalities.
"I will give you REGRET", says Jerry. "But REGRET tinged with PLEASURE", chips in Ben. Ah. Such is the difficulty and vagaries of choice.
"REGRET and PLEASURE defined great men of yore, from Napoleon to Bonaparte". I am confused. But aren't they the same? "No!", cries Ben.
Well, if you say so, I tell Ben. But at this point I am unsure of anything anymore. Unsure if I'm talking to Ben or Jerry. Unsure if I will even get fat.
So I ask Jerry (or Ben).
"That is not the question you should ask", they tell me. So what is the QUESTION?
"There is no QUESTION", they solemnly inform me. "There is only the matter of EATING the ice-cream". They are now doing a curious dance on the table-top. "EAT WITH PLEASURE AND REGRET", Ben and Jerry begin to chant.
I stare at them, still unsure.
"EAT WITH PLEASURE AND REGRET".
Maybe just one bite.
"EAT WITH PLEASURE AND REGRET", they continue.
I look around. The monkey sneers and I throw a banana at it.
"EAT WITH PLEASURE AND REGRET".
I pick Ben and Jerry up, but notice that the tub is empty and this confuses me and suddenly I realise that my mouth is smeared with chocolate and that I must have somehow eaten it. And my hands are also covered with chocolate. Chocolate and blood. The blood is regrettable. Maybe, I think. I am still unsure.
And at this point I look up and see a sign above the door and on this sign above the door it says THIS IS NOT AN EXIT.
"There is no QUESTION", they solemnly inform me. "There is only the matter of EATING the ice-cream". They are now doing a curious dance on the table-top. "EAT WITH PLEASURE AND REGRET", Ben and Jerry begin to chant.
I stare at them, still unsure.
"EAT WITH PLEASURE AND REGRET".
Maybe just one bite.
"EAT WITH PLEASURE AND REGRET", they continue.
I look around. The monkey sneers and I throw a banana at it.
"EAT WITH PLEASURE AND REGRET".
I pick Ben and Jerry up, but notice that the tub is empty and this confuses me and suddenly I realise that my mouth is smeared with chocolate and that I must have somehow eaten it. And my hands are also covered with chocolate. Chocolate and blood. The blood is regrettable. Maybe, I think. I am still unsure.
And at this point I look up and see a sign above the door and on this sign above the door it says THIS IS NOT AN EXIT.
